So this weekend i'm looking around and i see this article on the "joy of comfort sex" (which - according to this dude - is some kind of scripted sex where you plan it out beforehand cause you know the shit works and you both wanna get off together - NEWS to me). so i'm skimming this shit and stumble on this - which i just HAD to post:
"First off, consider that many women don’t even experience orgasm the first few times they have sex with a guy, which some evolutionary anthropologists conjecture is like a built-in vetting mechanism: Because the female orgasm takes time to achieve, its mastery requires dedication and patience, an extended “getting to know you” process that encourages a woman to seek out relationships with the partner who will ultimately invest adequate time and energy in the effort to familiarize himself with her unique sexuality.
As Emily Nagoski writes in the Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms, 'A woman is less likely to have orgasms early in a relationship. Her body needs time to adapt to the new partner, to learn to trust him or her, and to relax into the knowledge that her partner accepts and appreciates her body.'"
[yo - required reading]
Why they don't teach this shit in grade school - i'll never understand. men should know this. men should have this drilled into their skulls. men should know not to expect that it's gonna happen on the first try. for god sakes - WOMEN shouldn't expect that either. it's not always our fault, ladies. you got vettin' to do.
other thing - about the "appreciates her body" business - that's ridiculous. can i just say - me having sex with someone ... you can pretty much assume that i appreciate her body. that's kind of a given. unless we're drunk - in which case - we'll just "relax into the knowledge" that we're fucking trashed and lookin' to get laid. fair enough?
p.s. Emily Nagoski - thanks for spreading the good word.