Guys aren't picky - guys are so friggin easy to please. Ever meet a guy - okay, a straight guy - who took like an hour to get dressed, or debated forever about getting a salad instead of a steak - or had a drunk ass screaming match with his best friend in the middle of the street for absolutely no reason at 2 in the friggin morning.
Yea, this happened right outside Angela's dorm last night - two chicks just screaming their heads off about NOTHING. clearly wasted out of their minds. it was unreal.
So i'm lying there last night in bed thinking about how much easier guys are to get along with - how i have like thousands of guy friends - and then i have angela - and then i have like maybe ten other friends who are girls. i don't have the patience. i'm not into the drama. i've got like 0 tolerance for the drama.
torture for me is making me sit through an episode of the Real Housewives. whatever city. doesn't matter. they're all crazy dramatic wastes of space. GOD i hate those chicks. they should be put away for a year. with just each other. in like a cement hole. done.
The closest thing to a guy's problem with his dick size is a girl's issues with their boob size. i've known LOTS of girls who were insecure - who i've had to talk off the friggin ledge about it. who, like, complained that when they lay down, their boobs were so small that they actually went totally flat with the rest of their body. i was like - what? what the fuck are you talking about? i mean - not in those words - but huh??
I'm not saying nice round big boobs aren't fun - they are - and i've had some fun with some boobs - but GUYS ARENT PICKY. we aren't picky like girls can be picky. we aren't judgmental and nasty about boobs like girls can be nasty and judgmental about dicks. we would never turn a girl down cause she wasn't "well-endowed" boob-wise. we sure as fuck wouldn't laugh or whatever. what's to laugh at? the fact that they weren't porn star enough to get a boob job? boob jobs are fun too - but they're pretty whack and i totally get a girl wouldn't want implants in their friggin chest the same way guys don't want injections in their dick. you know, if she's lacking there, maybe we pay more attention to her ass or her legs or whatever - but we don't hate. we don't judge. we just don't. cause we're guys. we take what we get. we don't send food back. medium-well, medium rare, who gives a fuck. it's a steak. steaks are all different. and we're gonna eat it no matter what.
unless its one of those real housewives bitches. except for that girl Bethany who's like totally bangin (oh my god, dude, i can't wait to run into that chick in the street here and be like - Yo, you're friggin hawt) - those girls can eat themselves. seriously. cement hole. with rats and moldy bread. done and done.
oh - hey - footnote: this comedy group from the city that i dig did this funny thing about guys acting like girls. there's chicks in the group too but they're not in this video.
check it out. its good shit.
