Jeeeeesus.
And let me just use this post to share something i got off CNN dot com today - something that may be extra interesting to any ladies who may be reading this blog - for whatever reason - and that something is this:
"...testosterone drives the "Man Trance" - that glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts. ... I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't. Their visual brain circuits are always on the lookout for fertile mates." <---- uhh - yea - mateS - plural!
And some more:
"Whether or not they intend to pursue a visual enticement, they have to check out the goods. To a man, this is the most natural response in the world, so he's dismayed by how betrayed his wife or girlfriend feels when she sees him eyeing another woman. Men look at attractive women the way we look at pretty butterflies. They catch the male brain's attention for a second, but then they flit out of his mind. Five minutes later, while we're still fuming, he's deciding whether he wants ribs or chicken for dinner. He asks us, "What's wrong?" We say, "Nothing." He shrugs and turns on the TV."
Damn straight - you can't fight science! Its like if we got mad every time you cried - or wanted to talk - or wanted to cuddle - or bought a friggin pair of shoes!!!!
I can't speak for the gay guys out there, but scientifically - since the earliest caveman days - men have done what they're supposed to do - eye women. And take it from this particular male that it ain't a choice - it really is innate. Mom says minutes after I was born, I had three of the nurses' numbers in the delivery room - bam! - a man is born. Mazel-friggin-tov.
So ladies - take a cue from C-N-N and listen up when your men say that they "wasn't looking at anything" - because believe it or not - that's our nice way of saying, Look, we're over it - girl's gone - Man Trance complete - moment's over - onward and upward. Back to you.
"...testosterone drives the "Man Trance" - that glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts. ... I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't. Their visual brain circuits are always on the lookout for fertile mates." <---- uhh - yea - mateS - plural!
And some more:
"Whether or not they intend to pursue a visual enticement, they have to check out the goods. To a man, this is the most natural response in the world, so he's dismayed by how betrayed his wife or girlfriend feels when she sees him eyeing another woman. Men look at attractive women the way we look at pretty butterflies. They catch the male brain's attention for a second, but then they flit out of his mind. Five minutes later, while we're still fuming, he's deciding whether he wants ribs or chicken for dinner. He asks us, "What's wrong?" We say, "Nothing." He shrugs and turns on the TV."
Damn straight - you can't fight science! Its like if we got mad every time you cried - or wanted to talk - or wanted to cuddle - or bought a friggin pair of shoes!!!!
I can't speak for the gay guys out there, but scientifically - since the earliest caveman days - men have done what they're supposed to do - eye women. And take it from this particular male that it ain't a choice - it really is innate. Mom says minutes after I was born, I had three of the nurses' numbers in the delivery room - bam! - a man is born. Mazel-friggin-tov.
So ladies - take a cue from C-N-N and listen up when your men say that they "wasn't looking at anything" - because believe it or not - that's our nice way of saying, Look, we're over it - girl's gone - Man Trance complete - moment's over - onward and upward. Back to you.
Richard -
ReplyDeleteI don't understand. What is a ManTrance?
Does that mean you're gay?
Your Mother,
Mary Margaret Baldwin
ma, I asked you not to comment on here!! it's like reading a foreign language for chrissake. nooooo, it doesn't mean i'm gay, ma, it means that only men can get it - like man things - like things men get. did you even read the whole article?? i'm saying - men have to look at women cause thats what MEN do - not look at other men. ugggh. just talk to me at dinner.
ReplyDeletei'm a pretty butterfly. you can look at me anytime, ricky. just let me know which aisle.
ReplyDeletefine, richard. just fine. don't ever tell me again I don't care about what you do. and next summer, when we all go to the Poconos for the 4th, you can stay at Aunt Carolee's house in Red Hook. That's what I think. A ManTrance. It sounds like a man hypnotized you.
ReplyDeleteThat's all I'm saying.
okay - look - ma - first of all - theres no friggin way i'm staying at aunt carolees cause shes a friggin kook. i'm just tryin to explain it to you! mantrance is what happens everytime the cheerleaders come out on the court and throw their pompoms around and their boobs almost pop outta their shirt - and i'm not being sexist - i'm just saying. it's a TRANCE that a MAN gets. and i hate friggin red hook.
ReplyDeleteok - second of all - other anonymous person - (and if this is you andrew i will friggin kill you) - but i'll be at the campus barnes and noble on monday after my morning practice - travel section - that's the one way in the back where nobody ever goes.
richard. your aunt carolee is going to very hurt when she reads this - because she does read it - because I was so proud of you I told her about it after church on Sunday - by the way, Father Fitzpatrick asked about you again - he said he hasn't seen you in church for months - not that I would know anything about that - but Aunt Carolee will be very upset that you called her a kook and that you hate red hook.
ReplyDeleteand what if she gets confused and SHE goes to the barnes and noble, thinking you were speaking to her and thinking that maybe you were going to apologize for calling her a kook and insulting red hook? what she is shows up? oh my god, I think I told Father Fitzpatrick about this smutty blog, too. I could die, Richard.
by the way, what do you have against apostrophes?