Puppetry of the Penis

Put these guys in that long list of things you coulda sworn were gone forever but really won't die. Like that Blue Man Group thing, the Penis Puppetry phenomenon is apparently not going anywhere.

I heard about the show a while ago when my buddy Andrew's girlfriend dragged him to the show and he got totally freaked out because she wouldn't tell him what they were going to see and there he was thinking he was going to see some cheesy musical or something - but then he's suddenly thrust into this world of thrusting dicks with multiple personalities.

There's nothing homosexual about the fact that I went. I went for research. Cause guys should know that there are these dudes out there in the world who have these dicks that can bend forwards and backwards and jump rope and that these guys actually make money off of it. Like serious money.

Last crew to start doing it are these young guys - Chris and Rich - guys my age, it looks like, and one of them thanks his mom and his wife in his bio or whatever. I think my mom and Angela would gladly cut off my balls before I did something like that.

So out of the blue I read that they're still going at it or whatever - like they've got this full-on website - and they do tours - Rich and Chris are in Los Angeles - and they've got fans - and they're holding AUDITIONS! American Idol. With dicks. WTF?! It says all you have to do is send in a picture of yourself (not your dick, thank god for small favors) and tell them why you've got a dick that can transform before your eyes. At first I was like - Who would want to do something like that? Every night of the week? But then I thought about that old line - "If you can't beat em, join em" right??

So without talking to angela (or my mom) I decided I'm gonna send in my pic. And I've got this so far for my letter to them:

"Hey, my name is Rick, and as a guy with a small dick, I've always been more 'interested' in penises than the next straight guy. I thought maybe you'd be interested in having a "small guy" in your cast to change things up a bit. And a small guy too who isn't shy about being small.

I've seen the show, and I know some of the puppets you guys do - like the hamburger and the Eiffel tower and the Loch Ness Monster. I can't do any of those. I'm kinda new to the whole puppeting my penis thing. But i did skip my run this morning and spent an extra hour in the shower and worked out a few new ones -

• the terrified turtle
• the pig in a blanket
• the old man
• the snake resting on two small rocks

Anyway, hit me up at info@rickigotasmalldick.com (yea, its a real website) and let me know what you think.

l8r

rick"