Diseased

So Joseph walks into the meeting last night with his panties in a twist - he's waving his precious New York Times around - it's all rolled up and wrinkled like he's been carrying it around all day, showing it to every john and jane and dick clark he sees on the street. And what's it say? That there's a disease you can have cause you feel shitty about yourself. That its - like - clinical. 4 out of 5 doctors and shit.

Enter Joseph's effed up psyche.

I swear, some people are born with this skill - to get kooky about every little thing. Other people have this totally unique talent where they can put themself down about every little thing. Joseph is like that 1 in a million person who has both. and thats what makes joseph both a riot and a giant pain in the ass.

Anyway i tried to find this article online this mornin and i couldnt. Joseph probly gets the total downer version of the times special-made for him. it's three words with a lot of syllables. ends in -osis.

Long story short, it's not just how you think. it's not just about changing your way of thinking. you may very well have this CONDITION (joseph kept shouting CONDITION last night like he was gonna win a prize CONDITION) - so anyway we may very well have this - uh - CONDITION where you might wanna kill yourself cause you don't feel so hot about yourself. weight. looks. relationships. cock size. whatever your thing might be.

But you know what - and this is what i told joseph at our meeting last night to no friggin avail - there are 2 ways to look at this - like there are 2 ways to look at everything.

Joseph's sucky way to look at it: "oh, great, now i'm diseased. it's official."

My infinitely better way to look at it: "1. guys like us aren't alone - there are hundreds of thousands of people who feel like they're not good enough. 2. so we're in good company. 3. it's friggin legit, feeling like shit. 4. my bro wasn't just some nutjob who tried to stuff too many pills down his throat - he's got a CONDITION. it's his CONDITION that drove him to do that. and he got help for it. strike that. he's getting help for it. 5. some girls totally get off on the fact that you have a CONDITION. you know. the bleeding heart girls. the sympathy babes. the motherly types.

if my CONDITION was a chick, i'd totally make out with her right now.