FUNK

You know that phrase - "scream it from the rooftops" - that phrase always ticked me off. think about it. like if you actually screamed something from the top of a roof, chances are nobody would friggin hear you. guess it depends on how tall the building is. my guess is you'd probly just get a bunch of people yelling back up at you - "huh?" "whadya say?" "hey, get off my friggin roof!"

But i guess i had that feeling the last couple days. like i needed to scream some shit. blow out my voice and get pissed. Mac says ive been in a total funk. I told him he's been a total a-hole.

I guess what's been bothering me is this whole feeling that, like, people have problems. everybody's got problems. and by nature of who we are - like, society dictates and shit - we hide them. or avoid them. sometimes it's not even on purpose. like a chick who's afraid of heights and just stays away from high places. done. like some dude with a stutter who just talks as little as possible.

whatever. bad example.

but this chick came into my physics class this morning - i won't say who, but - she was crazy late this morning and couldnt miss the class cause we had like this pre-final - and so she didnt have time to take a shower, change, put on make-up, whatever - and she looked like a TOTALLY different person. no friggin kidding. this banging italian chick lost her bang entirely. she looked like snooki from jersey bore. couldn't believe it. and just cause she's spent every morning pouring make-up on herself to make sure no one saw what she actually looked like. but thats the problem - right - that we cover ourselves up. make-up. baggy clothes. jock and gym shorts. whatever it is.

but sometimes I wish I could just get that part of my life out of the way. i wish people could just know that about me right off the bat - that I have a small dick - and then they could get over it and get to all the better parts of me. but it's like, with every person I meet, it's just a waiting game until the minute that we're in the locker room together. or the sauna or the beach or the shower or the pool or whatever. probly, between girls and friends and teammates and trackmates, i'd say 150 people have seen my dick. 10 or 15 probly had a really good look at it. only a couple know it, like, intimately.

so ... fucking great. that leaves like 7 billion people who haven't. 7 billion people. the weight of the world is like literally on my shoulders. 7 billion people who i wish i could get on a telecast and show my dick to. what a giant relief that would be.

You know like last year or whenever - when that partridge family danny bonaduce dude showed his dick? people were like, OMG - he's so small! - how could he do that??? easy. he could do it real easy. cause now that secret is over. that part of his life is out in the open. and now people can get past it. and anybody who has a problem with it can move the fuck on.

anyway, i'm bringing this discovery to the meeting tonight. right after i google staten island nudist colonies.